Will's diary
Tuesday May 14, 2002
9:30 a.m.
We are in the makeup trailer. Enuka (pronounced uh-noo-kah) tells
us of the horrors of owning a unique name. She's heard every pronunciation,
"eee-nyoo-kah", "ahh-koo-nah", "yoo-nee-kah"...I
tell her that her name reminds me of that dog food brand, Eukanuba. I think
she likes me.
11:30 a.m.
Jürgen Prochnow and Clint Howard both start work today. Surprisingly,
the percentage of on-set jokes told that include the words "poo"
and "pee" decrease considerably. Not that either of these guys
would object (after all, doesn't everyone love toilet humor?), but none of
us want to be seen as anything but pros around actual movie stars.
11:36 a.m.
Ona Grauer ("Alicia") proves me wrong within 10 minutes. She's
got an 8-month old boy, and she's very liberal when it comes to discussing
matters of motherhood. One such topic is that of projectile lactation.
Yes, guys. Projectile lactation.
Turns out that, according to a magazine article Ona's read,
women engaged in the breast feeding stage of post-pregnancy often gain a
special talent. Their breasts can serve as milking machine guns during orgasm.
This visual renders me virtually comatose. I imagine a new world of sexuality
where never again can I look at a breast without covering my eyes. A shielding
not born out of sheepishness, but of protection.
7:19 p.m.
Sonja is concerned about her scene tomorrow. They've moved her topless shot
to be the first one up in the morning. She's unsure of how it's gonna feel
to bare all for the camera. It's her first time, you see. I assure her that
everything will be fine, I'll even be there if she wants. She declines my
offer, but just in case, I borrow a pair of protective goggles from the props
guys.